Time is flying and so many emotions are coming with that.....7 weeks left in this country I have come to call home. This brings sadness and honestly a bit of anxiety along with it! This means I am having to leave behind so many people I have developed friendships with, praying that the Lord brings someone else into their lives to show His love to them. Knowing at the same time that I have done what the Lord has asked me to do this past year, but still finding a small portion of me thinking did I do everything He asked me to do? Could I have listened better, done things differently? I think the answer to this is yes, there is always something that could have been done more and could have been done differently, but this does not mean I need to dwell on it. This does not mean I am a failure, it means that I did what I did, I loved the people the Lord called me to love. Again I find myself thinking about the 3 boys I devoted so much time to....wondering will they be ok? Are they ok now? I have not been allowed to see them since they have gone into the orphanages but I am told I can before I leave Thailand. I miss them more than I could have ever expected, I miss them as if they were my own children. I want them to be raised up as men of God not men lost in the things of this world! Will you join with me in prayer for these boys? Just whenever you happen to think about them, pray for them, pray for there lives ahead and now! Thank you!
On another note I am sure I will have a lot of these feelings after I leave Thailand again for all of the girls I have built relationships with. Wondering what is next for them, praying with everything in me that a life in the bars is not all that is in their future. That they will see the light over the darkness. The Lord tells me time and time again that light is stronger than darkness and it has taken me a long time to believe this in my personal walk at times, but now more than anything I long to believe this for these women as well! All of the women I have met are amazing talented women that can go on to do so many amazing things, but because they made that one decision to work at the bars that one time they are stuck in a spiral. The love of money is so strong in the Thai people's lives, and I hate that it continues to have a strong hold on them! We have seen several girls leave the bars and start on a journey with the Lord in last year. Which is amazing and so crazy to have seen it happen! But the reality sets in sometimes, there are hundred more girls still working on the red-light and they need to see the love of Christ. This is where I fall to my knees and pray because I know I can not go out and talk to everyone of them, I have to lay them all before the Lord trusting He is pursuing them!
Oy I am sorry for my long list of rambling above! So many thoughts are entering my mind as the end draws near. Ultimately I want to spend these next 7 weeks doing as the Lord wants me to do, not as my flesh or satan may want me to do. I want to be led by the Spirit, walking out in the way He calls me to! I have seen the Lord move in mighty ways so far and I have no doubt I will see more before I set foot on that plane to go back to America (a country that seems so foreign to me now).
The Lord can and does amazing things, laying all of our worries at His feet is always the best option, now if only it was as easy as it sounds! 7 weeks left and so much room for the Lord to move in my life and in those around me! Pray with me for this! Pray that we will all finish well. I know my heart longs to come back, but I want to have clarity that it is the Lords heart as well for me! One step at a time, also if you would not mind praying for my financial situation! I need just over $3,000 for my senior term tuition and right now I have no clue where it will come from, but God knows!
*Just a few pictures below*
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